We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
