Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
