were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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