oh god the rape fog is back!
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
