I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
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