I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
