Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
you didnt know i had herpes?
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
