Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
