Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Just invented taco cereal.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
