I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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