i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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