in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
