you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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