Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
