hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
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