Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
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