i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Randomize
