I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
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