there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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