Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Randomize
