How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Randomize
