You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
where am i from again
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
