I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Just invented taco cereal.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
