If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
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