I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
