Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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