Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Randomize
