Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
