Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
