chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Randomize
