If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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