He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
