There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Randomize
