Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
