What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Randomize
