We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize
