It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
