Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
