Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Randomize
