And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
They have beer where we have blood.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
