then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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