Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I want her autograph on my taint
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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