he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
