I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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