we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
