question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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