I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Randomize
