Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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