Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Randomize
