CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
