WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
