While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
