you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
These tits shall not be calmed
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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