We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
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