people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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