someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
