just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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