Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
