I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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