she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
