Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
